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Random Jokes

Do you need a silencer to kill a mime?

Q: What is the difference between a paycheck and a penis?
A: You can always find a girl to blow your paycheck for you.

Q: What's worse than lipstick on you collar?
A: Leg makeup on your ears.

Q: How does a lesbian hold her liquor? 
A: By the ears!

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Devil Worshipper? 
A: He sold his soul to Santa.

Q: What do you get if you cross a penis and a potato? 
A: A dictator.

Q: How do you make a cat drink?
A: Put it in the blender and extract the fur.

Q: How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb? 
A: Nine. One to screw in the bulb while the other 8 hold up the mirrors.

Q: What goes clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop,clip-clop, bang, bang, clip-clop, clip-clop? 
A: An Amish drive-by shooting.

Q: Why do jewish people have such big nose's ?? 
A: Because air is free !!!!!!

Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch pornos backwards? 
A: They like to see the part where the hooker gives the money back! 

Q: What's the definition of "Endless Love?" 
A: Ray Charles and Helen Keller playing tennis. 

Q: How many Los Angeles police officers does it take to beat up a black motorist? 
A: None. He fell down the stairs. 

Q: What happens when a paranoid has low self-esteem? 
A: He thinks that nobody important is out to get him. 

Q: What is hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside, begins with the letter 'c' ends with the letter 't' and has the letters 'u' & 'n' in the middle? 
A: A coconut. 

Q: How do you tell one end of a worm from the other ? 
A: Put it in a bowl of flour and wait for it to fart. 

Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? 
A: Vibrato.